Veloci-Randrew

While hiking the trails of Yellowstone this past summer, Uncle Andrew let it slip that as a young boy on a similar visit to Yellowstone, he pretended to be a velociraptor. I think Jurassic Park must have come out about that same time and Andrew began to believe he was a raptor! True to raptor form, he kept his arms tucked inside his t-shirt while he hunted prey along the hot spring boardwalks. A real raptor might have had cat-like reflexes had it caught it's toe on a raised board, but not veloci-randrew. His unstable Jurassic body was no match for gravity and he landed flat on his face. His tiny, raptor hands were useless in a brace for the fall.

Such a story might provoke sympathy from a typical family, but not the Johnsons. That's just the kind of story they latch onto for decades, bring up at every family gathering, and relentlessly tease you about for the rest of your natural life!  It was only fitting that we found these raptor claws at Walmart just in time for Andrew's birthday and, like the good sport he is, he modeled them for us.  If you are going to be teased for time and all eternity, you might as well get some cool claws to go with it!